What do get if you cross a duck and Santa? A Christmas Quacker.
Rebel without a Claus.
“Why did they ask the turkey to join the band? He had the drum sticks.”
“Bah-Hum-Pug.”
You sleigh me.
I ordered the wrong kind of flowers online for Valentines Day.
Oops e-daisies.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
What has 34 legs, 9 heads and 2 arms? Santa Claus and his reindeer.
Let’s get elf-ed up.
What do you call a fake Irish stone? A shamrock.
“Santa owes a lot to his little helpers. You might say he’s an elf-made man.”
From my head tomatoes, I love you bunches.
Was a bit lonely by myself at home last night on Valentine's Day so I decided to make my own bread.
I was feeling quite kneady
Time to spruce things up.
I’m elf-taught.
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot's him Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
What's a pun's favorite love song?
"My Punny Valentine!"
I'm the life of the paddy.
What do you call a reindeer ghost? A cari-boo!
It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
What was Santa's best subject in school? Chemistree.
What did one lightbulb say to the other lightbulb on Valentine’s Day?
I love you watts.
"You're a real good egg."
I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentine's Day
She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.
Your name must be Summer because you are hot.
"No eggs-cuses."
I loaf you.
Icy what you did there.
How rude-olf of you.
I’ll be there in a pinch.
“What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.”
"Your kisses are to dye for."
Irish I had another Guinness to drink.
I’m feelin’ pine.
Who’s ready to party their shamrocks off?
Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart.
We make a great pear
Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.
February 14th.
"Eggs-cuse me."
"You might not carrot all, but you're irresistible."
Today I be-leaf in leprechauns
That look soots you.
It’s snow joke.
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
Are you a needle? Because you are sew special to me.
Resting Grinch face.
“Elves are always defending the shape of their ears. They make some good points.”
This is snow laughing matter!
How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
Lots of eggs-ercise!
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