My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
Don’t give into beer pressure.
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a break from delivering gifts? Santa Pause!
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
“Deck the Halls with Bows on Collies.”
Happy Valentine's day.
Such a Lovely day.
I made Chinese for Easter dinner
If I had made Japanese it would have been Eastest Dinner.
Irish you were beer.
"I'm dyeing to know what's up."
Let’s have a shamrockin’ good time tonight!
“What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus.”
Your presents is requested.
Hold on for deer life.
Easter dinner was great today
We made sure it had all the crucifixins'.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus!
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
What kind of dance do single people do on Valentine's Day?
The Independance!
"I'm so egg-cited, I just can't hide it."
Drink happy thoughts.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
“Dachshund Through the Snow.”
Are you a needle? Because you are sew special to me.
The lager you wait, the better it tastes.
Don't get caught elvesdropping on Santa!
How do sheep greet each other during the holidays? Fleece Navidad!
Why did the Easter Bunny go to the doctor?
It was time for his annual eggzam.
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
"You're a real good egg."
Are you a defibrillator? Because you are sending shocks to my heart.
I can heartly wait to see you.
“Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.”
Say it ain’t snow.
You're so clover!
It takes one to snow one.
Best in snow.
What did one ornament say to another? I like hanging with you.
Let’s get elf-ed up.
I’m in pursuit of hoppiness.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
“Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?”
Let’s take an elfie.
How does an elf get to Santa's workshop? By icicle.
Up to snow good.
What’s the opposite of Easter?
Wester
What should you get Lassie, the star of the hit TV show, for Valentine's Day?
A cauliflower.
What do you call a broke santa? Give up yet? It's Saint-NICKEL-LESS.
What is Santa's favorite breakfast food? Snow-flakes.
I’m going green, if you know what I mean.
“What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!”
Go to BabaMail
