What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
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