What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
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