Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
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