What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
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