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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
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