I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
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