When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
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