Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
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