Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
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