Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
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