What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
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