How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Go to BabaMail
