How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
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