I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
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