I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Go to BabaMail
