I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
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