Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
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