Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
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