What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
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