My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
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