I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
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