I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
Can I be Candide with you?
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
French, French Revolution
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
French people give me the crepes.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
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