Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Did you know there is a new horse species with one eye and a horn?
It's called a unicornea.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
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