What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
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