Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
I asked my Italian grandfather if the rougher parts of Italy were called the spaghetto.
His look was pasty.
How do cats say goodbye in Italy?
Miao.
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
What do you call the generation of people that migrated from Italy?
Genitalia.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?
Reggae-Toni.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
Spanish con-quiz-daters.
Genoa bout the bridge collapse in Italy?
Ah well, we won't go over it then.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?
Penne Lane.
What do you call a cat from Italy?
Spacatti.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II?
They were Fascistanating.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
Where to Bees go to party in Spain?
Ibiza.
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
Why did Italy surrender in WW2?
Because Italics aren't bold.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.