How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
Did you hear about the spies trying to infiltrate japan, Italy, and Germany in WWII?
They were denied axis.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
I used to live in in Aragon, in Spain.
Then I left.
I'm Aragone.
Where to Bees go to party in Spain?
Ibiza.
Recently, i started learning Spanish
But i can't hola long conversation.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.
So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II?
They were Fascistanating.
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
Go to BabaMail
