What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
Can I be Candide with you?
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me.
I Skipped pasta grade.
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
I'm a supervillain from Italy, I have the power to infect people with deadly diseases.
It’s-a-me, Malario.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
Why does it take so long for the EU to figure out how much Italy owes them every year?
Hey, ease up. Rome wasn't billed in a day.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?
Penne Lane.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
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