What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
Why did Italy surrender in WW2?
Because Italics aren't bold.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.
When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me.
I Skipped pasta grade.
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
Spanish con-quiz-daters.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
"I Apollo-gise"
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
What do you call a cat from Italy?
Spacatti.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
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