So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, “You should go visit Italy in late August.Then you can witness The Fall of Rome."
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
Half of Italy is complaining about the coronavirus and the other half is laughing not taking it seriously.
All they do is cheese and wine.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
French people give me the crepes.
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
Who holds sermons during Sunday in Italy?
The Pasta.
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
Did you hear about the spies trying to infiltrate japan, Italy, and Germany in WWII?
They were denied axis.
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
Brother: "My friend John is in Greece studying abroad."
My Dad: "What's her name?"
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
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