From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
French people give me the crepes.
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
French, French Revolution
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Italy
So it’s italicized!
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II?
They were Fascistanating.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus.
Normally I don’t go because I’m poor.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
Did you hear ISIS is spreading to Italy?
Nobody's concerned though, since it's just Italian ISIS and they're delicious. Especially cherry flavor.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
Why does it take so long for the EU to figure out how much Italy owes them every year?
Hey, ease up. Rome wasn't billed in a day.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.