What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
Who holds sermons during Sunday in Italy?
The Pasta.
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
Why did Italy surrender in WW2?
Because Italics aren't bold.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
What do you call a 1 cent coin in Italy?
A penne.
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
There's a new film out about two insects that meet in Italy.
It's Rome ants.
What do you call an elderly Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me.
I Skipped pasta grade.
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
Did you hear ISIS is spreading to Italy?
Nobody's concerned though, since it's just Italian ISIS and they're delicious. Especially cherry flavor.
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
"There's a woman trapped under a motorway bridge in Italy."
"Genoa?"
"I'm not sure, I can't see her face."
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
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