I'm a supervillain from Italy, I have the power to infect people with deadly diseases.
It’s-a-me, Malario.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Italy
So it’s italicized!
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
Did you hear about the spies trying to infiltrate japan, Italy, and Germany in WWII?
They were denied axis.
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?
Reggae-Toni.
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
I used to live in in Aragon, in Spain.
Then I left.
I'm Aragone.
Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II?
They were Fascistanating.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
Did you hear about the famous Spanish streaker?
Senor Willy.
You heard about the Spanish woman that is now a man?
He’s called Senor Rita.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
How do cats say goodbye in Italy?
Miao.
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