I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
Can I be Candide with you?
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
There's a new film out about two insects that meet in Italy.
It's Rome ants.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
Genoa bout the bridge collapse in Italy?
Ah well, we won't go over it then.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
"There's a woman trapped under a motorway bridge in Italy."
"Genoa?"
"I'm not sure, I can't see her face."
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?
Penne Lane.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
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