My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty