Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.