He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
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