Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
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