I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
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Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
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