Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Go to BabaMail
