Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Go to BabaMail
