A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
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