I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Go to BabaMail
