What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
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