What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
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