How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection