Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
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