I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
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