Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
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