Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
Go to BabaMail
