What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
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