How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
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