What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
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