The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
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