How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
Car puns are really tiring
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
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