I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
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