I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
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