How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
Go to BabaMail
