Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
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