Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Car puns are really tiring
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
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