What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
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