Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
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