I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
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