I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
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