Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
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