Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
Car puns are really tiring
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
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