Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
Go to BabaMail
