What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
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