Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Car puns are really tiring
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.