What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.