I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
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