What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Car puns are really tiring
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
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