What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
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