Why did the bus stop in the middle of the street? It saw a zebra crossing.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
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