What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
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