51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
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