What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
Car puns are really tiring
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
How does a car express love to another?
‘I a door you.’
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
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