Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What do you call a basin full of denim?
A gene pool!
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
I just broke my wife’s favorite perfume bottle, she’s gonna be fuming!
What is the most disgusting perfume ever made?
Eau de colon.
Why do perfumes always hang out in pairs?
Because they don't want to get cologne-ly!
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
What did the toothpaste wear to the club?
A tube top!
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
When is it appropriate to sleep in a bathtub?
When you're feeling drained.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Tooth-hurty!
My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
Mascara and lipstick broke up last week.
Now they are trying to make-up!
Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?
For meatier showers.
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?
Cause they dumbbell dry.
I once knew an arrogant sponge.
He was very self absorbed
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
What do you call an East-European cosmetic?
Nail Polish.
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?
A Molar Bear.
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.
Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?
With flossils.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
Ever use one of those expensive toothbrushes?
It's breath-taking.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
So Chanel is making a new perfume made entirely of rain water.
It’s called the Weather Chanel.
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
Whats A tooth fairys favorite movie?
Jaws.
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
Go to BabaMail
