The artist shouldn't have taken that sculpture for granite, now it's stone-cold.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
My friend impresses girls by drawing realistic pictures of trucks. He's a pickup artist!
What does an artist call his sketch pad? A house.
Q. What do you get when you combine Blue Agave and literature?
A. Tequila Mockingbird
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Military submarines are a deep navy blue in color.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
The artist painted himself into a corner, leading to his death.
What do you call an artist without a palette? Someone who makes paintings without taste.
They say that she only paints night scenes. Other artists really pale by comparison.
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress? You sure look the art.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Why was the painter upset when his doctor bought all of his paintings? The doctor thought the paintings would go up in value after his death.
What did the arirst say to his friend who was stressed? Don't worry, paintbrush it off.
What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.
I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light. Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
What did the artist say to his old friend? Let's clay in touch.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
The graphic designer's present company gave her a substantial raise while a rival company also gave a similar offer. I am now caught in hue minds!
Dark-colored huskies found in Colorado can also be termed as dusky huskies!
Why did the bald man decide to paint a bunch of rabbits on his head? He thought that they could look like hares from a distance.
The nurse always carried a red pen in her pocket in case she needed to draw blood.
Do black and white count as colors?
It's a gray area.
If a purple-colored fruit gets stuck in your drain, then you should call a plum-ber to fix it.
What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
The green light at the road signal looked at the red light and said, "Don't look while I am changing".
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Why did the artist have to go to the bathroom right away? Because when you gotta Van Gogh, you gotta Van Gogh.
Artists know how to draw the line, so you can't really peer pressure them.
The garden where only white cars are driven can be called a garden of white carnation.
I went to a new kind of show yesterday, which was hosted by a color-changing lizard. He was a good stand-up chameleon.
Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil.
It wasn't 2b.
Car Salesman: And if you don't like this color, we have another one in "Boulder Gray"
Me: Gray isn't very bold to begin with, how did you make it bolder?
Why can you never trust an artist? Because they are a bit sketchy, a little shady and will always try to frame you.
Librarians don't like drinking white wine. They prefer the well red ones!
The fact that we were asked to leave our beautiful purple color house by the owner is still purplexing for me.
Q. What did one artistic colored pencil say to another?
A. Bro, you are lookin' sharp today!
If a painter ever feels stressed or troubled, they take a vacation to the hills. It will easel their mind!
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
A friend of mine was describing an exotic bird to me and asked what was orange and sounded like a parrot. I told him, "A carrot".
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
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