Why does everyone paint Easter Eggs? Because it is a lot easier than wallpapering them.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
A ship load of red paint crashed into a ship load of blue paint. The crews were marooned.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
When I broke my brother's favorite toy, he turned absolutely red in anger.
The painter did not want to sit idle because he knew that time white for no one.
Q. Which African animal is the oldest?
A. The zebra. 'Cause it's in black and white.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
Why did the portrait artist take a side job as a census taker? Because he was great at canvassing people.
Don't get caught between a chalk and a hard place.
My friend can't afford expensive art, she has no Monet.
Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil.
It wasn't 2b.
I thought my ballet-themed body art was unique
But then I saw someone who had a tutu tattoo, too.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Did you hear about the artist's really messy house? He said it was 'a work in progress'.
When you meet someone, you don't want to get off to a bad art!
I recently ran a charity marathon to promote greener earth, but the run left me a little jaded.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I had gradient expectations on him of being a good artist, but it was all in vain!
The artist thought she was all that and pen some.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
What killed the painter? He had too many strokes.
The computer had to visit the dentist at the very earliest opportunity as it had a BlueTooth!
I told the artist that his painting was terrible. I think he got the picture.
When I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flower, my teacher said I was the perfect roll-model.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
What do zombies use to color their hair?
Dye of the dead!
What do you call a chameleon that can't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Elephant boxing matches are very difficult to watch. It becomes tough to identify as both have grey trunks!
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects? A con artist.
If Van Gogh were alive today, what might the title of his autobiography be called?
The STARRY of My Life
If a purple-colored fruit gets stuck in your drain, then you should call a plum-ber to fix it.
The most notorious one of all pirates was very sad. It may have been because he was Bluebeard!
One should never mix oranges in apple juice. Well, perhaps you may do it once in a blue moon.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
Why can you never trust an artist? Because they are a bit sketchy, a little shady and will always try to frame you.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
If you live in a purple-colored house and suddenly all the power goes off, then you should probably check the fuchsia box.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I ain't no poet, but neither are you.
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