What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"Partners in wine."
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
"Here for the right riesling."
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
"I mead more wine."
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
"Alcohol you later."
"Sip, sip hooray."
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
"Love the wine you're with."
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
"Rosé all day."
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
You’re wine in a million.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"Stop and smell the rosé."
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"Be kind, re-wine."
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!