"You're the wine that I want."
"Be kind, re-wine."
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
"Love the wine you're with."
"Read between the wines."
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
"Sip happens."
"Time to wine down."
"Adulting makes me wine."
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
You’re wine in a million.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"No wine left behind."
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
"Partners in wine."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"Here for the right riesling."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Sip, sip hooray."
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.