"You had me at merlot."
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
"Say you'll be wine."
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
"Sip, sip hooray."
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
"Read between the wines."
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"You're the wine that I want."
"Partners in wine."
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
"I need to re-wine my life."
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!