"You can't sip with us."
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
"Love the wine you're with."
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Read between the wines."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
"You had me at merlot."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"It's wine o'clock."
"Be kind, re-wine."
"Sip, sip hooray."
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"No wine left behind."
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
"Back that glass up."
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"Partners in wine."
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
"On cloud wine."
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
"I mead more wine."