What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
"Back that glass up."
"I need to re-wine my life."
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"Alcohol you later."
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Partners in wine."
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"Sip, sip hooray."
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
"Love the wine you're with."
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
"I mead more wine."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
You’re wine in a million.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
"Here for the right riesling."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
"Great minds drink alike."
"On cloud wine."
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"You're the wine that I want."
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
"You had me at merlot."
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
"You can't sip with us."
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."