"Time to wine down."
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
"Sip happens."
"Alcohol you later."
"Here for the right riesling."
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
"You can't sip with us."
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
"Adulting makes me wine."
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"I mead more wine."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
"Great minds drink alike."
"You had me at merlot."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
You’re wine in a million.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"I need to re-wine my life."
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!