I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"You had me at merlot."
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
"Be kind, re-wine."
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"Sip happens."
"You're the wine that I want."
"Sip, sip hooray."
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"Love the wine you're with."
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
"I mead more wine."
"Say you'll be wine."
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
"You can't sip with us."
"I make pour decisions."
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
You’re wine in a million.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Time to wine down."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"Partners in wine."
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
"Adulting makes me wine."
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
"Rosé all day."
"Alcohol you later."
"Great minds drink alike."
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
"Here for the right riesling."
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."