"Will you accept this rosé?"
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"You can't sip with us."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
"Love the wine you're with."
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
"Adulting makes me wine."
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
"Say you'll be wine."
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
You’re wine in a million.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
"Rosé all day."
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
"Be kind, re-wine."
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...