What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.