Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.