I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.