When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.