On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"