I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.