The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.