Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.