Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"