The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.