The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.