What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?