I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.