What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.