If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.