Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!