Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!