You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.