Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.