Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!