Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Do you hear about the pineapple and honeydew who try to get married? The court says that they cant – eloupe.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.