Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What is a monkey’s favourite cookie?
Chocolate Chimp!
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?
Desserted
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.