An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards?
Dill'em in.
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
Today, I am eating a bun filled with pineapple and ham for my dinner. That is Hawaii roll.
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
"Personally, I like people who peach on time, and are always punctual," said the strawberry.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
What did the pizza say when it asked the topping out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”